Song · The Smiths
“The Headmaster Ritual” by The Smiths
From the album Meat Is Murder (1985)
“The Headmaster Ritual” by The Smiths appears on 15 radio countdowns from 8 stations between 1985 and 2024. It was first released in 1985 on the album Meat Is Murder. Its best result is #29 on the John Peel's Festive Fifty of 1985. In the combined RockLists rankings it is the #128 alternative song of 1985 and #1,526 alternative song of all time.
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"The Headmaster Ritual" opens Meat Is Murder, the Smiths' second album, from 1985, and it comes out swinging at the classroom. Morrissey's words take aim at British schooling and corporal punishment, and the lyrics stirred up controversy back home, while Johnny Marr's jangling guitar line borrows from sources as far apart as the Beatles, Joni Mitchell and the MC5.
Marr wrote the music and plays guitar and piano, Andy Rourke's bass bounces underneath and Mike Joyce drives it, with the band producing and Stephen Street engineering. Critics have long praised Morrissey's singing and lyrics on it as much as Marr's playing. Dutch fans got it as a single in July 1985, and Britain finally saw a CD single in 1988.
Written with AI assistance from RockLists chart data, MusicBrainz and Wikipedia.
RockLists rankings
Alternative & Modern Rock
Indie & Adult Alternative
All Rock Formats
Year-end countdowns
| Year | # | Station | Countdown | of |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1985 | 29 | John Peel (BBC Radio 1) | John Peel's Festive Fifty of 1985 | 50 |
All-time and decade countdowns
| Year | # | Station | Countdown | of |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 268 | WOXY 97X | WOXY Modern Rock 500 (1989) | 500 |
| 1994 | 353 | Live 105 | Live 105 Revolutionary 500 (July 1994) | 500 |
| 2001 | 443 | WFPK | WFPK 2001 Greatest Songs of All Time | 2000 |
| 2002 | 1406 | Fred (XM 44) | Fred XM Top 2002 Songs of All-Time (July 2002) | 2002 |
| 2003 | 600 | Fred (XM 44) | Fred XM Top 2044 Songs of All-Time (July 2003) | 2044 |
| 2007 | 781 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2008 Songs of All-Time (December 2007) | 2008 |
| 2008 | 733 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2009 Songs of All-Time (December 2008) | 2009 |
| 2009 | 751 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2010 Songs of All-Time (December 2009) | 2010 |
| 2010 | 769 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2011 Songs of All-Time (December 2010) | 2011 |
| 2011 | 776 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2012 Songs of All-Time (December 2011) | 2011 |
| 2013 | 768 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2013 Songs of All-Time (December 2013) | 2012 |
| 2014 | 745 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2014 Songs of All-Time (2014) | 2013 |
| 2020 | 1315 | WXPN | WXPN 2020 Greatest Songs of All Time | 2020 |
| 2024 | 475 | KEXP | The Best Opening Tracks of All Time | 738 |
Also listed as: Headmaster Ritual.
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