Song · The Dandy Warhols
“Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth” by The Dandy Warhols
From the album …The Dandy Warhols Come Down (1997)
“Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth” by The Dandy Warhols appears on 21 radio countdowns from 10 stations between 1997 and 2025. It was first released in 1997 on the album …The Dandy Warhols Come Down. Its best result is #69 on the KNRK Top 94 Songs of 1997. In the combined RockLists rankings it is the #121 alternative song of 1997 and #2,151 alternative song of all time.
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"Not If You Were the Last Junkie on Earth" kicked off ...The Dandy Warhols Come Down, the band's second album, as its first single in 1997, and it's a sneering, stomping slab of fuzzed-out pop with a genuinely nasty sting in its tail. Courtney Taylor-Taylor wrote it, and he later explained where the bile came from: he got home from the band's first tour to find his girlfriend of four years had fallen into heroin in the space of a week.
It doubled as a jab at friends and rivals the Brian Jonestown Massacre, as the film Dig! documented, and they fired back with "Not If You Were the Last Dandy on Earth". Tchad Blake mixed it, and its refrain is so catchy that fans keep calling the song by the wrong name.
Written with AI assistance from RockLists chart data, MusicBrainz and Wikipedia.
RockLists rankings
Alternative & Modern Rock
Indie & Adult Alternative
All Rock Formats
Year-end countdowns
| Year | # | Station | Countdown | of |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1997 | 75 | Live 105 San Francisco, CA | Live 105 Top 105.3 Songs of 1997 | 105 |
| 1997 | 96 | Q101 Chicago, IL | Q101 Top 101 Songs of 1997 | 101 |
| 1997 | 70 | WHFS Washington, DC / Baltimore, MD | WHFS Top 99.1 Songs of 1997 | 100 |
| 1997 | 90 | 107.7 The End Seattle, WA | The End Top 107 Songs of 1997 | 107 |
| 1997 | 69 | KNRK Portland, OR | KNRK Top 94 Songs of 1997 | 94 |
| 1997 | 89 | Triple J Australia (national) | Triple J Hottest 100 of 1997 | 100 |
All-time and decade countdowns
| Year | # | Station | Countdown | of |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1999 | 712 | 107.7 The End | The End Top 1077 Songs of All-Time (December 1999) | 1077 |
| 2000 | 497 | WOXY 97X | WOXY Modern Rock 500 (2000) | 500 |
| 2001 | 491 | WOXY 97X | WOXY Modern Rock 500 (2001) | 498 |
| 2002 | 472 | WOXY 97X | WOXY Modern Rock 500 (2002) | 500 |
| 2003 | 461 | WOXY 97X | WOXY Modern Rock 500 (2003) | 500 |
| 2005 | 364 | WOXY 97X | WOXY Modern Rock 500 (2005) | 500 |
| 2007 | 1031 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2008 Songs of All-Time (December 2007) | 2008 |
| 2008 | 1116 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2009 Songs of All-Time (December 2008) | 2009 |
| 2009 | 1133 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2010 Songs of All-Time (December 2009) | 2010 |
| 2010 | 993 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2011 Songs of All-Time (December 2010) | 2011 |
| 2011 | 1025 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2012 Songs of All-Time (December 2011) | 2011 |
| 2013 | 1052 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2013 Songs of All-Time (December 2013) | 2012 |
| 2014 | 1051 | CD101 | CD101 Top 2014 Songs of All-Time (2014) | 2013 |
| 2022 | 483 | The Colorado Sound | The Colorado Sound Top 900 Songs of the '90s | 900 |
| 2025 | 406 | WFPK | WFPK Top 500 Songs of the '90s | 500 |
Also listed as: Not if You Were the Last Junkie on Earth; Not If You Were the Last Junkie on Earth.
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